Unknowingly Planting the Unknowingly Growing

I didn’t think about doing any of this as a business, I only cared about making myself feel better and be better. The better version of myself… if you will… a “better naked me” in the words of my friend Terrill Ross. I always keep that phrase in my mind because it matches my exact personality, story and where I have been in life. I always knew how clothes were supposed to fit me… tastefully revealing and sexy and by the time I had realized that I was well away from that, I became a whole whopping 230lbs! That was 230lbs of defeat, depression and all around confusion in life because I didn’t understand how the hell I had gotten to this point in my life.

I wanted to be a New York City bartender but then being reminded of the harsh reality that in order to do that, I would have to be back into that superficial realm where I would have to look a certain type of way. I still maintained a healthy sense of self-esteem but somehow, they way II felt and looked still made me feel unhappy. At one point, I was a gogo dancer, extremely fit and happy. By this time, I hadn’t worked at a job since I was 17 so of course finding work was hard especially after getting licensed for bartending and not being able to get employed as a bartender due to my extreme weight-gain I put aside everything as far as that because now I had fallen deep into my depression and didn’t want to come out of the house for 3 years.

In that 3rd year, I had decided that enough was enough and I started my fitness journey. I started by going to department stores and looking online for workout videos and even the workout network on cable. It was a great start but once I realized that it would be easier for me to give up if I knew I could pause the videos and still ended up looking the same, I cut out all of the videos and hit the pavement in East Orange, NJ. I put my headphones in my ears and started walking… very fast and once I looked around, I started to question if I looked like a young woman who was shaped like a 50 year out-of-shape black woman. I started jogging and then running faster and faster every time for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours at night and I wouldn’t change my clothes until the end of the day because I was determined to lose the weight.

Before I knew it, I had lost 60lbs in 4 months and was soon ready to begin my journey finding a job and entering a gym. Shortly after, a gym had opened up around the corner from where I lived and I began weight training. Before I knew it I was lifting massive amounts of weight and had toned my body in absolutely no time and had now become obsessed! I found myself working 2 jobs and still making it to the gym. I was now able to invest more into my workout clothes as well as accessories and toys to play with in the gym!

I have grown my home/outdoor gym collection and now use those things as part of my own personal training, Black0ut B00tcamps, Personal Training Sessions and extremities in the gym.